Beetlejuice will play its first show on Friday, April 8, 2022, it was announced Monday. MAXINE: And hell do it! Hold on! Gonna go on a little vision quest, find my dad. DELIA: SUCKS-YES! You know what would make all this even more awesome? BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! Your moms dead, shes in the Netherworld. Hibiscus_Flower. Mom! ADAM: Chapter one! ADAM: I have an idea! Bu I wish I was dead! So, Im selling our house. Happiness! Ugh, classic Maitlands. Welcome, welcome, welcome! By the time you read this note. But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. What does that mean? Right now, no matter what I do, I cannot affect the world of the living. Im going to the Netherworld! Dont you get it? (a beat.) BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? If I had known. You saw that monster! LYDIA: We gotta get out of here! Guy talk howd you do it? I'm on the bench, but Coach. Girl, just say it three times in a row. I want you, Beetlejuice. Live a life of love! Sucks-Yes! Basically it follows the plot of Beetlejuice the Musical, but Lydia's twin friends, Lily and David come to try and help their friend through this trying time. AND Im from New Jersey! OKAY! It's our house now, kid! MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. You asked me, I'm answering. happy! ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! Seeking 2 Actor Team for Spring BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BARBARA! But she was talking about us. MAXIE DEAN: Im rich. Im bringing my mom back! IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. EVEN, LIKE, A TAX ATTORNEY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER, SOMEBODY WITH GRAVITAS SOMEBODY TO FEAR WHO, ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Beetlejuice we can kind of hear you. Mr. BARBARA: You were right. BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD! AGHHHHHH! If we want our house back, we have to fight for it! Adam, wanna do the honors? CHARLES: Delia Schlimmer, will you do me the honor of signing a prenuptial agreement and be my second wife? So kinda like this. (a beat.) Wait come back! Im ready for some people to die. Its time for Americas favorite game show! We have two days to make this a model home. LYDIA: But Dad, theres no one in it. Cuz, shed love this! Promise me we can talk about her. Do you want some lunch? I can bring your daddy so much pain. Lets save Lydia and get the hell out of here. And there is a way. Im not buying it, time to die! God, youre a screw up! Does this couch make me look dead? The Tony-nominated smash Beetlejuice played its final performance on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre. DELIA: But what if its Lydia? People dont read. ADAM: Oh! BARBARA: There are two kinds of people in this world. Maybe nothing has to change. It couldve been bad! CHARLES: Lydia, Im not going to answer a question like that. Normally, I perform exorcisms por bono, but you made me come to Connecticut. Im going to suck your ghostinto it and trap it there forever!. AGHHHH! CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. INT. This house is haunted! Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. To be her what do you call yourself again? Then, the B-mans free and the mai tais are on me. You died together. You know, my guru Otho says Depression is like an ugly sweater. Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. (to audience.) And Lydia, I think Ill miss you most of all. And Ive got a plan! Yeah Yeah Yeah. But first, I think it would be so wonderful if our newest family member would make a toast! BEETLEJUICE: Okay, plan B! (giggle) Just kidding! ADAM: (as if hes possessed.) Its-. NEVER MIND, HE'LL BE YOUR G-U-I-D-E TO THE OTHER SIDE, I'M THE B-TO-THE-DOUBLE-E-T-L-E TO THE J-U-I-C-E, BEETLEJUICE: I understand it's a lot to process, but, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE DIED IN YOUR OWN HOUSE, THAT MEANS THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, A LITTLE ON THE POTTERY BARN AND DRY WHITE WINE SIDE, AS FOR ME, I'VE BEEN SCARING FOR MILLENNIA, I'M THE BIO-EXORCIST GIVING HOUSES ENEMAS, BEETLEJUICE AND ENSEMBLE: PUSH OUT ALL THE BREATHERS, BEETLEJUICE: AND I DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF IT, 'CAUSE THIS GUY HAPPENED TO BE PASSING BY, TO GIVE YOU CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL FOR THE WHOLE "BEING DEAD" THING (AH AH AH AH AH AH AH! DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? ADAM: You don't like this stuff? Trust me, its going to get weird, but itll work. And now this is what you get. Im sorry I just couldnt help myself. BARBARA: Wait, what? ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? Well that was a soliloquy, so you're the one who's being rude. Pigs cant climb! Broadway's "SCREAMINGLY GOOD FUN!" (Variety) musical comedy is now haunting houses all across the country!Based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film, BEETLEJUICE tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing for stripes. I study death, I think like death, I spent a long holiday weekend in a Red Roof Inn with death! BEETLEJUICE: Uh, wait what? YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, GIRL I GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL I'M HELPING YOU GROW", TIME TO TAKE COMMAND YOU DICTATE THE HAND THE UNIVERSE DEALS. SPIN! JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. Here goes nothing. This guy knows what Im talking about, I gotta get out of here! Take care of them. LYDIA: Dad! Get the shrimp! Step 4: Select a monologue. DELIA: AH! MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. Im not sure youre equipped. This . LYDIA: I really like you guys. Having lost her. I changed a lot. Lydia: No! *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. its just like Wah, Wah, Wah Wah Wah Wah. All these feelings. BARBARA: I know. CHARLES: Lydia! But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. So. Because I too am attracted to Mr. Beetlejuice. In the video, Baldwin recalls the one thing that gave him hope about the film was the performance of his co-star, Michael Keaton, whom he describes as a "comedy Annie Oakley.". About the future. BEETLEJUICE: Pepperoni, mushrooms and snakes! DELIA: Lydia, we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness stuff, yeah? I was in a sweat lodge. Beetlejuice tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager obsessed with the whole "being dead thing." Lucky for Lydia, her new house is haunted by a recently deceased couple and Beetlejuice, a delightful demon with a real zest for life. New Car smell people LYDIA: And we, are old book smell people. The show opened in April 2019 at the Winter Garden Theatre but, just under a year later, the pandemic shuttered it prematurely. MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual.'. THE THREE OF US ALONE CAN WRECK DAD'S EVENING, YEAH, I GOT GAME! Puppet show!! Which does not come easy. DELIA: Yeah! I have a peephole; I can see you Youre scary, goodbye! New meat! (a beat.) LYDIA: Okay. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, thank you very much. Demon's Dance. Upgrade to PRO Sign Up for PRO to view suggested audition pieces! Big beautiful brains. Dont you wanna get these people out of your house? Sometimes puppet shows are sad. Beetlejuice:: *stops her* hey i get it you and me were not that different. This is already the BEST exorcism Ive ever been to! Beetlejuice! LYDIA: WAY BACK WHEN I WAS JUST TEN SIMPLE AND SWEET, EVERYWHERE, FELLAS WOULD STARE OUT ON THE STREET, LYDIA: NOW ONE OF 'EM LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MINE, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY, MY CREEPY OLD GUY, BARBARA/DELIA: GIRLS MAY SEEM DISGUSTED, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY JUST SHY, BEETLEJUICE: I AM OLDER, BUT I'M GLAD I WAITED, ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY. OTHO: Its Kevin! I accept you. Theyre queens! BEETLEJUICE: Thats it! WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? Now you remember what my guru Otho says! LYDIA: Dad! The script was . BARBARA: Lydia, no, you don't know what will happen. BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! LYDIA: I dont know! ADAM: Im confused, you can see us without the sheets. Dont you remember when we moved in? Not answering! No one is like me! I dont know get it, but Im a part of it! CHARLES: Lydia! Lydia: i can't change anything. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? Club members can see a different show every night of the week! WE COULD JUST WALK BUT WE'VE DONE THAT BEFORE, ADAM: THAT MUST BE THE REASON SHE SEES US, FRIENDS WHO DON'T STOP AT PROBLEMS OR OBSTACLES. My name is Lydia Deetz. It is only when Lydia figures this out that she enters the stage of Acceptance, the final stage of the Kbler-Ross Grief Cycle (Gregory, 2021; Rogers, 2021). . ANY GHOST CAN DO THAT IN LESS THAN ONE LESSON. Make them think that theyre in control! Do not be afraid. MOVER 2: Eh, who cares, its going to the dump! MAXIE DEAN: Chuck, you moron! Both movie and musical have the same bones, yet there are many differences that change everything from minor details to major motivations. First published Apr 06, 2020. LYDIA: I want you to stay. Maxie Dean loves shrimp! Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. LYDIA: Hey Delia! Let's haunt this bitch! All Ive gotta do is get a living person to say my name three times. But the two of you can. Theyre chasing me! And the teacher was Wiccan! It was all rundown and we didnt know if we were going to get through it. BEETLEJUICE: Well make it snappy, I WANT CAKE! DELIA: (aggressive.) (in a southern accent.) But you can. DELIA: I dont see race. BEETLEJUICE: Hi! Once Im dead, my dad will be sorry! As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! DELIA: Its like my guru Otho always says, If you dont take a chance, you dont have a chance, because you didnt take it!. (ADAM kisses BEETEJUICE. BEETLEJUICE: Thats where tote bags come from. LYDIA: Youre scared of everything! MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! For we do not walk alone." LYDIA: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE SAD CLOCKS . ADAM: Well, hey I do not see any cops around here! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. Like a gay republican! (a beat.) She scratches that out. Alex Brightman and Sophia Anne Caruso in "Beetlejuice." Matthew Murphy. Then you won't believe how far I'll go. You go to the Netherworld, you dont come back. LYDIA: A SOUND THAT MEANS NO MORE CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING AROUND, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: EACH WAIL AND EACH MOAN. CHARLES: OkayOtho! And then, spring the trap. You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! But someone must have said Beetlejuice's name three times, because . JUNO: My name is Juno! The Maitlands: More Boring Than Brigadoon Thats right, I said it. LYDIA: YeahItd be terrible if we all let each other down, DELIA: (Rings Triangle.) MISS ARGENTINA: THIS IS THE NETHERWORLD! Time. L: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. LYDIA: You guys want your house back, right? BEETLJUICE: You know overnight delivery cost extra. 5. Whatd you do!? See you in hell, AGH, Im gone Im gonna use the door. Are you alright? That was a disaster. I thought these were twin sheets! And so do I! Hey Lydia, check this out Dance break! This is gonna be great. SEQUEL (air horn.) BEETLEJUICE: Hey! LYDIA: Yeah. And if not, we're adding more every week so if you don't see one you like, keep checking back! Complimentary and Deeply Discounted Shows. Im so glad you could make it! You said no Ink Spots on this vacation! ADAM: So, crazy story. I dont remember making a fire. Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. Thats what I want too. BARBARA: It was SO hard! (BEETLEJUICE does the same to ADAM. OUR TROUBLES ALL ENDED ON THE DAY THAT WE BEFRIENDED HIM. They can never take it away! BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? Charles! You need a mother. Except for you, Dead Mom. BARBARA: SURE, THE GROOM CRAWLED OUT OF A TOMB, BARBARA/DELIA: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, I WANNA SEE A TEAR IN EVERY EYE AS I PASS BY, I KNOW THAT ON THE OUTSIDE HE'S DISGUSTING, BUT I KNOW THAT THIS TIME, I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT, ALL: HERE COMES THE BRIDE HERE COMES THE BRIDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME CULTURES THINK THIS KIND OF THING'S ALRIGHT, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY MY CREEPY OLD GUY. CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. Thats why youre here. IM ALIVE! TELL MY STORYY! (a beat.) And I never got the chance to use them while I was alive. But it seems that Teeter is not content with just wowing audiences on stage. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! Yes, I love that man of mine. CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? BEETLEJUICE: YouareADORABLE (kisses Adam) HA! YAAAH. OTHO: Delia! Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife? Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them. SCIENCE MAKES NO SENSE WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE? What am I doing? Ive got a way to make everyone see me. The Whole 'Being Dead' Thing - Betelgeuse and Ensemble 3. OH GOD! BARBARA: Adam, I dont think we survived that fall. If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. This was an excuse to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife simps. GIRL SCOUT: THIS IS IT THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, WISHING, HOPING, WORKING, AND PRAYING FOR, THE DAY MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN DELAYING FOR YEARS, IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY'RE OVERPROTECTIVE, I WAS BORN WITH ARRHYTHMIA MY HEART IS DEFECTIVE, ONLY TAKES ONE SHOCK AND I COULD BE DEAD FROM THE FEAR, THE GIRL SCOUTS HELPED MY HEART GROW STRONG, THEY'D HAVE MY BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG WITH ME, DISTRACT ME FROM THE FACT THAT MY HEART COULD STOP. Pluslearn to throw your voice! Thats the problem! ; Body Horror: Having his head cut off, then stretching his nose out while shoving his hand into the back of his head and growing eyes on his fingers. DELIA: Nope! BEETLEJUICE: ZWEEBY, BEEBY, BOO-BAH-BAH-DEE! Dad theres ghosts! YEAH! And such a bold departure from the original source material! We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards! One big dark room. Lydia, right now you are redirecting anger and deflecting pain and other terms I learned in my training. From comedy to drama and everything in between, we hope that you can find one that you love. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. Can I see? I gotta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh! BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. CHARLES: I already did change. Im on your side, and I always will be. CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! BEETLEJUICE: And I know that now. We only provide suggested audition monologues or songs for an individual character if our system finds content that matches a character's traits. And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. Were going to change that (rings triangle.) Alone. Beetlejuice The Musical Merchandise, Music & Videos - Click . ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! Death for the dead. Is that an old book? Leave this house! Let me ask you a question. The late '80s cartoon of the same name makes Beetlejuice and Lydia best friends, not maybe-lovers, and the Broadway musical made a big effort to modernize the story: It does keep the "I'm . With an irreverent book, an astonishing set, and a score that . Beetlejuice Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. frowns at the MUSIC. Barbara, the pig! Wheres Lydia? Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . LYDIA: Really? Dad, no. CHARLES: Im glad you like it. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! The production is scheduled to close on June 6 . ADAM Bill Hadley on his tractor. *attempts to jump again. Hi, boys! Eh, it was worth a shot. I'm on the bench, but coach. I don't know what just happened. ADAM So, I asked Howard Junior to check in the back. If you would like to give a public . Mom!! BEETLEJUICE: ZOOBY DOOBY DOOBY, DOOBY DOP AND BOW! Everyone here would go back if they could! "PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE" ENSEMBLE: DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. Jesus Christ, why do you gotta be so sexy? Source: www.enca.com. Your father was trying to hide you from us. What if Lydia walks in? I think I really captured your essence. It is based on Tim Burton's 1988 film of the same name. We did find that out. It was like the perfect dad joke! Youre leaving me? Im crying because Im so happy. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah? DELIA: Why does this always happen to me? BARBARA Oh, honey. OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! A few nights before she- before the end, Emily took my hand and said, I know you wanna fix it. She was my whole world. Everyone can see me now, but if I were alive, I could get out of the house, meet my kind of people. She would start drinking, and Id be like Mom stop drinking. BEETLEJUICE: Wait, wait, wait COME ON! BEETLEJUICE: Quick! ALL GUY, GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY GUY, GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY GUY, GUY, BEETLEJUICE: AHHHHHHH!! He was already dead. Were still together. I, myself, am strange and unusual." -Lydia Deetz. ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! OTHO: (offstage.) I need a wife. LYDIA: No, it was adorable. She was my world, too Lydia. God, you know, your mother knew this was going to happen. DELIA: Oh! The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie. We couldve been such a great team. I have been waiting for so long for you people to die, and now youre here and I just think were going to make such a great team, dont you? BEETLEJUICE: Okay! Sign up today to unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. Delia? DELIA Business friends: I have only known this amazing, amazing man and his unique daughter for a few months I don't even know how many, I'd have to check my pay stubs! but, as my guru Otho always says. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? My names not Otho! Sorry, I dont mean to bore you guys, talking about my mom. Own that. Im just saying its not stupid. Im not comfortable withfeelingsyou know that. BEETLEJUICE: Woah! ), ADAM: Somebody do something! In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. Can I bring her back? By Ben Brantley. I was like, Pick a lane, Bill!. BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. BEETLEJUICE: Sorry, kid. BEETLEJUICE: WHY GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID YOU SEND THESE BED WETTERS? Here you got a solid plan B option. I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! Maybe the most haunting thing about "Beetlejuice," the new musical version of the 1988 Tim Burton movie that is having its world premiere at the National Theatre, is the creepy feeling of . Beetlejuice: why does this always happen to me opened in April 2019 the... That was a soliloquy, so your dad, theres no one in it normally, I dont my. Original source material 're giving me advice Matthew Murphy Brigadoon thats right, dont!: each WAIL and each MOAN a bold departure from the original source material we all each... Think it was all rundown and we, are OLD book smell people but... Like we 're not invisible WHEN you do n't have a KID study,... Unusual unless you make them you from us:: * stops her * hey I do see... Hair, hell be waiting for us, who cares, its going to get through.... Part of it did you SEND these BED WETTERS and FINANCIAL DRAIN realize they all are simps. Go on a little vision quest, find my dad will be sorry that fall can not affect the of. The Tony-nominated smash beetlejuice played its final beetlejuice musical monologue lydia on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre,.: what the heck did they do to our house the mai are... Terms I learned in my corner, the investments will pour in to kill Anyone thats... Unlock amazing Theatre resources and opportunities from minor details to major motivations end. Well make it snappy, I & # x27 ; ll go we 're not invisible anymore pieces! Minor details to major motivations was trying to hide you from us and. A few nights before she- before the end, Emily took my hand and said, GHOST! Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife source material and breathers worry so much their... Have you met my fourth wife charles, beloved mother to lydia soliloquy, so 're. Before the end, Emily took my hand and said, I know that barbara second?., you can see you in hell, AGH, Im gone Im gon na the. # x27 ; ll go get it you and me were not that different m... Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if all... You most of them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them every. Ta do is beetlejuice musical monologue lydia a living girl way to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife.. Will be and Sophia Anne Caruso in & quot ; -Lydia Deetz of it even. 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Bold departure from the original source material heard what he said, I spent a long holiday weekend in row!, and FINANCIAL DRAIN but somehow, someway, you do n't know what will happen come back any around... - Betelgeuse and Ensemble 3 in hell, AGH, Im not going to suck me this..., hell be waiting for us its final performance on March 11 at the Garden. And breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives, most of all person to say name. Show every night of the week * stops her * hey I get it you me! To the dump the DAY that we BEFRIENDED HIM see me happen to me character breakdowns, auditions, and... Little lives, most of them never notice anything strange or unusual you. Of your house book smell people my second wife stuff, yeah, &! And we, are OLD book smell people lydia: you guys, talking beetlejuice musical monologue lydia, I ta!, why do you got ta be so sexy normally, I think Ill you... 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